I Miss You

The cry of our Father's voice...

"I Miss You"

by Shane and Shane

Pop Quiz

If I were to sum up the last 2-3 weeks, I would have to describe it as a time of testing.  God has been teaching me (or should I say correcting me) in so many different ways.  Almost daily I can see Him shining the light in areas of my life that need His help.  He has a gentle way of keeping me on the path that He has for me.  It seems that after He speaks, I am shortly presented with a "pop quiz" to really see if I learned the lesson.  Sadly, I fail more often than I pass.... I guess I'm not a very good student.  :-(   Thankfully God is a very patient and loving teacher.  His grace allows me to try again and again until I get it right.

For instance, God has been showing me that I need to be more active to reaching out to those in need.  He's been opening my eyes to the poor, and showing me that I need to change my attitude and judgmental thoughts.  He's been teaching me that everything comes from Him, and "my" finances are really "his".  He will fully fund me for anything He needs me to do.

So after all this, He plants a homeless man on the curb right in front of my office!  Then for 2 weeks my business comes grinding to a halt for no reason at all -- slower than it had been in years!  And then a different man in need, knocks on my door asking for money and food two days in a row.  Oh my!  It's hard to explain just from typing, but these things combined with everything He's been teaching me have shown me that I still have so much more to learn about love, trust, giving and faith.

I wish I could report back good news about all of these things.  It would be nice to tell you how I reached out like Mother Teresa and met their needs.  But aside from offering some very trivial help, I pretty much failed.  My business has started picking up again, but only after much prayer and realizing that I still have trust and faith issues that need to be worked out.  I've got so much more to learn.  There's a lot of other things that God has been dealing with me about, but I won't bore you with all those details tonight. 

If you're not hearing God whispering into your life... He is.  Spend some time with Him everyday... read His word (Psalms or the book of Matthew are a good place to start).  Talk to him like a friend, worship, pray, and finally be still and listen.  Don't listen with your ears (unless you're Moses!)... listen with your heart.  He wants to spend time with you and don't be surprised if he starts smoothing out your rough spots too.

God Bless You Friends!
-Me

Forthcoming Love...

My Dearest Forthcoming Love...

Right now my Father is working on me.  He's working on my heart.  He's healing and restoring me.  He's teaching me how to trust again and how to love with an unbroken heart.  My Father's hand is steady and deliberate.  There is purpose in every motion that He creates in my life.

Though I don't know you yet, please wait patiently, because the day is coming when the timing will finally be right.  On that day, He will take you by the hand and lead you into my life and I'll forever be able to sing "God Gave Me You".  Until then, I will be patiently awaiting our day.

Divinely yours,
Stephen

Go! Touch! Tell! Love! Serve!

God's been placing so many thoughts in my heart lately.  My mind has been swirling with words, scriptures, ideas and concepts.  I know these are from my Father's heart, because many of these are come head-to-head against my own fears, limits and frustrations.   I feel He is drawing me into a new season and I cannot wait to see where all this leads.

I just want to journal a rough list of recent things on my heart.  Father let these be done in me...

• My plan is out-dated, old and obsolete.  His plan is the new strategy. 
• Nothing of this world will matter to me any more.
• I have died to myself, I am dying to my own dreams and goals.  I am only alive for the purposes of Christ.  In Him I live and breathe. 
• The book of my life is being rewritten.  Love is the plot, Faith is the binding and Hope is the pen with which I write.
• Fears are gone!  Fear of death, failure, loneliness, fear of growing old, fear of poor health, your notice has been served!  You have been broken!
• Money and finances are no longer the most important thing to me.  In fact, they are being moved to the most insignificant place.  I am fully funded to do what my Father asks.
• Simplify, Downsize, Eliminate, Lighten the load, Sell, Give, Live below my means.
• Cap my spending and income and give the rest.  
• My American dream robs from my Heavenly treasure.
• My earthly cost: persecution, suffering, misunderstood, hated, mocked
• My heavenly reward: priceless beyond measure
• Time to move from the checkbook to the street.  Go!  Touch!  Tell!  Love!  Serve!
• Fast, Pray, Discern, Listen, Hunger, Thirst, Seek
• Risk everything.  Go "all in".  Expect the unexpected.
• 6 billion people need my Father.
• Just Go... Make a difference... the world is waiting.

You and Me Alone God

You hedge me in

with skin

all around me.

I'm a garden enclosed.

Life takes place

behind the face

for it's You and me alone God

...

Come into Your garden

Come into Your garden

Cuts Like a Knife

Luke 22:47-51 says...

While he was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them.  He approached Jesus to kiss him, but Jesus asked him, "Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?"


When Jesus' follower saw what was going to happen, they said "Lord, should we strike with our swords?" And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear.


But Jesus answered, "No more of this!" And he touched the man's ear and healed him (immediately).

I speak with experience when I say "betrayal cuts like a knife."  Nothing that I have ever experienced has pierced so deeply and caused so much pain in my life.  Anxiety quickly set in, and depression lingered on and on.

My Father God was so faithful to rescue me.  For almost a year, He led me to specific scriptures that soothed my soul on a daily basis.  He put songs in my heart, and worship on my lips.  He taught me how to forgive, how to love, and how to move on.  He put friends and mentors in place with words of encouragement.  It's been a very long process, but today I am a new creation in Jesus, and my heart has been completely healed and set free.

Even after all of this, the process of healing still requires the hand of God in my life every day, and today was no exception.  In the middle of a perfect day, a simple, small reminder hit me like a brick wall.  Within seconds I could feel my blood boiling and my heart sinking.  It was like the devil had punched me right in the stomach and took the wind out of me.  Three minutes earlier life was great, now I was once again at the bottom of a pit looking up.

But Jesus is so faithful and He is so near...

Just like the scripture above, I could hear him say "No more of this!"  I could feel His hand reaching out to me, and swiftly healing me once again.  He lifted me and put my feet back on stable ground.  He reminded me of forgiveness and love, and he quickly restored my soul.  The whole experience from sinking to healing lasted about 10 minutes. 

God is so good, and so faithful!! 
Praise you Lord Jesus for your swift healing!!

I Yearn For You

Lord I want to yearn for You

I want to burn with passion

over You, and only You

Lord, I want to yearn.

-Shane and Shane

Father's Love Letter

My Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.
Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me.
John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you.
Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you.
1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me.
1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7

I have always been Father, and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is… Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

Father's Love Letter used by permission
Father Heart Communications Copyright 1999-2010
www.FathersLoveLetter.com

You Are My Joy!

You Are My Joy

David Crowder Band

He set me on fire, and I am burning alive.
With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And he set me on fire and I am burning alive.
With his breath in my lungs I am coming undone.

And I cannot hold it in and remain composed.
Love's taken over me
So I propose the letting myself go.
I am letting myself go.

You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.

And He set me on fire, and I am burning alive.
With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And He set me on fire, and I am burning alive.
With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And I cannot hold it in and remain composed.
Love's taken over me and so I propose the letting myself go.
I am letting myself go.

You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.

I need to catch my breath, I need to.
I need to catch my breath, give me a moment now.

You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.

I'm laughing so hard
And I'm laughing so hard
And I'm laughing so hard

Catch My Breath

A Fresh View of the 23rd Psalm

(as taken from The Message Bible)

 

God, my shepherd! I don't need a thing.

You have bedded me down in lush meadows,

you find me quiet pools to drink from.

True to your word,

you let me catch my breath

and send me in the right direction.

Even when the way goes through

Death Valley,

I'm not afraid

when you walk at my side.

Your trusty shepherd's crook

makes me feel secure.

You serve me a six-course dinner

right in front of my enemies.

You revive my drooping head;

my cup brims with blessing.

Your beauty and love chase after me

every day of my life.

I'm back home in the house of God

for the rest of my life.

He Woos

Woo...

     a) to seek the affection, favour or love of.
     b) to seek after zealously or hopefully.
     c) to court, to invite, to seek."

God has been wooing my heart all day long. He's been drawing me closer through words, verses, songs, and favor.  When I woke up, I could immediately feel His presence and felt Him saying "I miss you"  and "I'm with you".  I've been here before, and I knew that it was going to be a precious day.  I began seeking Him by praying while taking a shower, and calling out His name.  I could sense the heart of my Father drawing near.  His presence continued to beckon me throughout my day and I'm finally beginning the climb out of the heaviness that has been on my heart lately. His Grace empowers and His Love Never Fails.

He's relentless.  
     He pursues me.  
          He engulfs me.  
               He overwhelms me.
                    He chases.

He goes before me.
     He walks beside.
          His glory is my rear guard.
               He covers me.
                   He lifts and secures my step


He never gives up.  
     He comes like He promises.  
          He pours out His Spirit.  
               There's always more.  
                    There's always more.


He's unending.
     He opens up the heavens.
          He rains down.
               He reaches farther and farther.
                    And then He does it again.

Over, Underneath, Inside and Between

Tenth Avenue North has a wonderful song called "Times". The song is about the times when God's love, forgiveness and grace reaches out to us. I can't even begin to comprehend the depths of His forgiveness... I'm just thankful that He promises to never forsake me.

Times

Tenth Avenue North

I'm there in your sorrow,

under the weight of your shame.

I'm there through your heartache,

I'm there in the storm.

My love I will keep you

by my power alone.

I don't care where you've fallen,

where you have been.

I'll never forsake you

My love never ends.

Sinking in an Ocean of Grace

How He Loves
David Crowder Band

I love this song!!  (Lyrics are below the video)



He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

When God Ran

This song has held a very special place in my heart ever since the first time I heard Benny Hester sing it.  Such a precious song.  Here's a video with Phillips, Craig & Dean singing it.  It will bless you so much.

Powerful Testimony

I love this song and I love the testimony of Shawn McDonald.  In 1999, Shawn hit the lowest point in his life when he was wanted on nine felony counts of possessing, growing and dealing drugs.  He picked up a bible and challenged God to show him the way.  The scripture was sharp and to the point and caused him to immediately take action in his life.  Then, with the help of a friend, and eventually a Christian roommate, God turned his life around and today he is a top Christian artist.

This song, "Open Me" is a prayer to open my eyes, my ears, my mind and my heart so I can know my Father's love.  Hope you enjoy the song (his testimony is further below)...

Shawn's testimony became the topic of a story on CNN.  You can check that out here...

Pursued by Relentless Love

My Pastor, Bill Baldwin, mentioned this song in an open letter to our worship team on Friday night.  Since then I must have listened to it about 25 times.  I've thought about it so much and feel so blessed to be pursued by God's love.  This morning during worship, a smile crossed my face when our church band began to play the song.  The words led us into God's presence in such a special way.  In fact, it seemed as if the whole services was turned upside down as we all gathered around the altar on hands and knees seeking Him.

I post the song here in hopes that it will bless you in the same way I have been blessed....



Misty Edwards
You Won't Relent

You won't relent
Until You have it all
My heart is Yours

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
And many waters cannot quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one

More than "Meats" the Eye

Benjamin Graham, my second of three children, turned eleven earlier this week, and we've been looking forward to going out for quite some time.  After much thought about where we should go for dinner, Ben finally chose one of our local steakhouses.

Yay! Alright now.. bring on the steaks! I was excited because we're finally past the "Chucky Cheese" stage and now we're dining at places that I can sink my teeth into!  Trust me, we've had our share of kid-friendly restaurants and play-places. My girls were equally excited, especially when they remembered they serve salted peanuts while you wait.

When we finally gathered around the table and the menus were passed out, my kids all decided on things we could have eaten at any fast food restaurant!  Pfffffff.  They could have ordered Filet Mignon, New York Strip, Baby Back Ribs, but instead chose Chicken Tenders, a Cheeseburger, and the other just had a side of Cheese Fries.  Then to top it off, after a few bites they all declared they were full and ready to go!  Ha!  Gotta love 'em!

Well this morning I was thinking about that and it reminds me of how I am sometimes with my Father... 

Why do I settle for the small stuff when God has provided so much more for me.  His word is full of His passion and promises for me.  His desire is for us to take all of Him... to Hunger and Thirst.. to Taste and See... to be sold out.  He desires to spend time with me.  He desires to give me His living waters and bread of life.  The days that I nibble and quickly turn away from Him are the days I settle for "peanuts" instead choice cuts of meat from His word.

Father forgive me for that!  I want it all!  I want all of You!  Forgive me for the times that I was satisfied to barely partake of You.  Forgive me for the times I was satisfied just to spend a few minutes in your presence.

My children chose the same old familiar, every day meal when I was willing to bless them with so much more.  We still had a great time together... they just don't realize what they missed out on.  By the time we made it home, they were already looking for a snack in the cupboard.    Oh! If you were wondering; I ordered a nice slice of Prime Rib, medium with a fully loaded baked potato.  Delicious!  :-)  Enough for dinner and left overs for the next day too!  Yum!

The Beginning

My Daddy is speaking.  Can you hear Him?

From the very beginning, He spoke with such simplicity and authority -- "Let there be light" and there was.  No question about it, when my Daddy speaks, things begin to happen!  In fact, He even says in Isaiah 55:11 "so is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will NOT return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."

Oh how I desire for Him to speak good things into my life... knowing that they will be accomplished and will achieve his purpose.

The fact is, He is speaking to you constantly.  He still speaks with simplicity... so much so, that we often miss hearing his voice.  But rest assured, He's there whispering the words that you need to hear.

There's rarely a time when my mind is silent and lately thoughts have been constantly swirling and swirling.  Thoughts of words, ideas, concepts, quotes, scriptures, family, friends, love, hope and direction.  I often wake up in the middle of the night and I know my Father is near.  I'm beginning to discern his whisper, and I'm hearing his heart.  I decided that I would start this public journal as a way of sorting through and sharing the thoughts of my heart.

Thank you for stopping by.  This is only the beginning.