As he approached us, he started scoping out the boat ramp. He was very friendly and began to tell me that his wife was handicapped and he was trying to figure out the best way to put the boat in the water. "You see," he explained, "We love fishing and used to have a couple of bass boats. But ever since my wife's been handicapped we haven't been able to go out on the lake. I just bought this pontoon boat and I built a special ramp so I can get her wheelchair from the dock to the boat." He continued conversing with me while he was inspecting the ramp, and then when he was satisfied with his plan, he explained to me how he was going to do this. I smiled, nodded, and realized I may have the help this guy a little.
He returned to the SUV and I could hear him lovingly explaining to his wife how he was going to back the car up, tie off the boat, pull up the ramp to a nearby parking space and then help her onto the boat. I didn't notice anything odd, and she was quiet so I figured she must be used to him taking time to explain and care like this.
After several attempts he was able to get the boat in the water. I did offer my help and he was glad to have the extra hand to stabilize and secure the boat while he pulled the car and trailer up to the handicap parking spot. He called out to me several times to express his thanks.
I wasn't prepared for what was about to take place. As the gentleman opened his wife's car door and loving spoke to her, she squealed and shrieked uncontrollably and excitedly. She was so loud that it startled me and my son. We were some distance from their car, but I found myself looking around to see if anyone else noticed how odd this was. His wife was not just physically handicapped and unable to stand without the use of a wheelchair, but there was a mental aspect involved as well.
It took him a few minutes to get her out of the SUV and into her wheelchair. She was obviously very excited (and loud) about the boat as she kept squealing. Once in a while, I could pick out a word or two she was saying, but he knew and understood her ever sound. As he wheeled her down the pier he smiled and called out to me again. "She's so excited! You see? She's just so excited about all this!" He never flinched or apologize for the strangeness. He never realized how odd this was. He didn't try to silence her, or even act like anything was wrong. He was so happy to see her excitement and he couldn't wait to get her on the boat.
As he approached his "homemade" wheelchair ramp, she became scared and started to scream. The ramp was about four feet long, but we had tied the boat so close to the pier, that she was really only going to pass over about 6 inches of water in the process. But those 6 inches cause a great deal of fear for her, and her way of expressing it was screaming. He stopped and talked with her. He reassured her and calmed her and then he pushed her across the ramp an onto the boat. Once on the boat, the excitement returned and she was obviously happy again.
I've been thinking about that couple several times throughout the day. My mind was searching for answers to explain the level of care and attention that he was providing. I wondered what could have caused the mental aspect of her handicapped. I imagined how devastating that must have been on him and on their relationship; but then again -- it didn't even phase him. He cared for her as if she was a child, but she was his wife. Couples today are so quick to divorce over such petty issues, but here's a man that is committed "for better or worse". And not only is he committed, he embraced it with a gentle, loving, kindness and excitement. There's so many lessons in what I saw today.... I know I'll remember that experience for years to come.
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